Never have I ever liked field day

I have never liked Field Day at school. Ever. Not even when I was five. Other than the swings, I wasn’t even a particularly huge fan of recess. I used to take books outside to read until it was time to line up. As a teacher, I continue to loathe Field Day. I don’t have anything to do with it or any say in anything that happens, but it is mandatory for me to go through the Field Day rah-rah.

My day, and thus all my kids, are thrown out of routine. (Which is bad enough on a normal day during the year, let alone during the last week of school when we are all white-knuckling it to get through as it is.) And I have to corral them and run them through all these “fun” stations and make sure they follow all the rules in this new environment because the volunteers who are supposed to be handling the direction-giving and station-participating in each of the areas get completely deer-in-the-headlights when a big group of kids actually shows up to partake (and said kids will likely NOT blithely follow the directions verbatim and will likely NOT keep themselves under control because #tinyhumans) and then take them back to the classroom where the day continues to be thrown off because even though our time slot for field day is only two hours, the rest of our day is shot to hell because of it.

For some reason that I haven’t quite worked out yet, though I’ve tried, the entire school has to be on the early dismissal lunch schedule that day, and the kids have to eat in the classrooms. Guess who doesn’t get a lunch break because of that? Then, also for some reason I haven’t figured out though I’ve tried, the kids don’t go to their Special in the afternoon, even though Field Day has been shut down and cleaned up long beforehand. So, guess who doesn’t getting a planning period? Guess who basically doesn’t get a spare moment to breathe or pee all frickin’ day long?

Guess who essentially has to entertain the kids for the entire rest of the day because any hope of getting anything accomplished went up in smoke before the kids even walked in the door that morning?

Guess who is completely exhausted before the day ever begins because she knows exactly how this day will pan out?

Guess who will most likely be really irritated throughout the day, and probably won’t even try to fight that inevitability?

Folks, guess who will maybe definitely throw Magic School Bus up on the board and wave the white flag long before 3pm?

It’s me, y’all! Color you surprised, right? And I won’t even be sorry about it.

I am sorry to all the PE teachers out there who organize Field Days, because I know you work hard at it. I do. I recognize your significant efforts.

But, lordy-be, I really hate Field Day.

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